Talking calmly and patiently, with your kids, even when you feel like tearing your hair out and thumping the table gets you nowhere as their minds are shut down, when they are in the kind of mindset where they are not even listening to you.
Here’s how you assertively and firmly talk to them when they say things like:
“I hate you”
Of course you feel that way, when I say no to something you want to do. I feel like that myself, when I cannot get my own way.
However, these are basic family rules that have been set up by your parents and these set limits on ALL of us and are important to us as a family. You have every right to resent them, but you do have to follow them.
“You like her more than you like me”
I do NOT like either of you better than the other. I do feel differently about each of you, because you both ARE different individuals and I am very proud of both of you and your achievements.
“All other parents allow their kids”
I am not everyone else’s parent. I am YOUR parent. We have rules in this family that we all have to live by. I am sorry but those are the rules.
Other kids parents may want to be their friends…I do not. I want to be your parent and love and cherish you as my kid.
“You are so mean”
I am not surprised that you are upset with me as no one likes to be disciplined, but what you did was wrong and a little bit dangerous and I will stop you when you do such things.
You will learn in time to stop yourself and understand then, why I did what I did.
“You don’t understand”
Maybe I don’t, but I sure would like to. Why don’t we choose a time when we can sit down and talk about it?
I really would like to hear your side of it and try to understand what you feel, as you already know my side of things.
Maybe if you give me some suggestions, we could try them out if we both agree.